How do you find answers to Life’s questions? Does confusion reside in you? How do you live in the unknown? How do you plan for the future when you don’t have answers???
Sometimes finding answers to Life’s questions gets placed on hold. In my recovery from kidney donation surgery, it was a challenge to plan for the future. I had spent 4 months planning for the surgery and 4 months to recover to my pre-surgery health. Medical testing, doctor appointments, exercise, and energy therapy appointments consumed my attention. I couldn’t focus on anything else. There could be no planning for my post-surgery future. I knew the donation would change my life in ways I couldn’t imagine. How can you plan for the future when you are in a phase of becoming? How can you find answers to Life’s questions?
Fear is your call to transform. Have you heard the call but ignored it? It often arises to get your attention. Something is disturbing your entire being, but you ignore it. It can’t give you any bigger warnings… you break out in a sweat, your heart races, your jaw and neck tighten, and your head is pounding. It is saying “What more must I do to get your attention that something needs changing?”
It’s just a warning sign to be on the lookout – there is danger ahead. You are not feeling safe on some level of your being. Sometimes there is a real danger- a car driving too close as you cross the street. Sometimes it is an imagined danger- a scenario we dream up, a story we tell ourselves from past experiences. We want to either fight, retreat or freeze.
What makes it so difficult for people to face their fear? I’ve found 3 big reasons.
Stories have power. Choose them wisely.
Children have a limited understanding of life and make up stories to fill in the blanks. They are egocentric, focusing on the ME. It’s just a developmental stage, a necessary step to the forming of the personality. They try to make sense of events as they experience them. Unfortunately, their impressions are usually wrong. As a child, we don’t realize stories have power when we create them. Many times, these impressions stay with us as adults, and we hardly ever question them.
Some of these impressions are the stories we tell ourselves that often bring pain for a lifetime if we don’t stop to examine them to see they were based on faulty perceptions.
I have faulty perceptions from my childhood. When the pain created by them grabs my attention, I bring them into the light to shift the perception into a truthful one. I hate to cause myself pain if I can avoid it. Believe me, I have experienced enough self-created pain, and it’s my personal mission to help myself and clients develop tools to let go of any avoidable pain.
This story caused me pain…it was a painful story I told myself.
Flaws Develop Strength
Can your flaws develop strength? As a child, I had many animal companions. My most memorable pet was an orange tabby named Krimpy. My brother named her, if I remember correctly because her colorings reminded him of a Tastycake Krimpet, the Philadelphia-based, butterscotch dessert, or maybe because her legs were crimped. I am not quite sure. It doesn’t matter. Krimpy taught me that flaws could develop strengths I never knew I had.
She was such a sweet cat, smaller than most, the runt of the litter. She had slanted eyes, which displayed a sad appearance. People were attracted to her partly because of her sweetness and because they were astonished by her flaw.
Her front legs were crimped as if she had elbows that were folded towards each other. I had never seen a deformity like this before. Both front legs worked in unison, making one step at a time, and her back legs were higher than the front. She was such an oddity that you couldn’t help but stare, trying in your mind to figure out how she maneuvered so well. Her hind legs were very powerful in order to compensate for the weakness in her front legs. When she sat up on her rear legs, she looked like a kangaroo.
One day you wake up and think “is this it? Scanning my self generating to-do list, juggling required tasks that scream urgent, doing everything for others- family, job, community – where is this headed? Help! My life is out of control! Where are all the things in life that created excitement, vibrancy, and the desire to jump out of bed in the morning?” When the demands on your time have a greater importance than you and your sanity, overwhelm reigns and joy vanishes.
Making the outer world in charge of your schedule only creates a victim mentality. It is time to take your power back. Set an intention: carve out time to get answers on resolving this situation.
A new client has been having a challenging time lately. She works too many hours and isn’t making enough money to pay her debts. She has been troubled by anxiety, fear, anger, and frustration. She has been cycling through them and feels swept up in an endless cycle with no way out…she feels trapped.
These feelings are unpleasant to experience but I tell her “ these feelings are here to help you. There are the guideposts to healing. Pushing down feelings to escape them causes more pain then finding a way to be with them and accepting them in the moment. Learn to be mindful of the sensations and feelings so a new understanding can emerge.”
I ask her to name her feelings, to describe the body sensations. She replies, “I am feeling sensations of fear. My body is restless, my mind is racing, my breathing is so shallow I can barely feel it. I have a jittery feeling in my belly and I can’t sit still.”
Wrapping up the basic Emotional First Aid Kit with a video! Included are tips on assembling your kit. Just a reminder- if you have been reading my blog and have been finding it helpful, don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter and receive a free audio gift. Sign up is on the right side of this page. You will receive quick tips for keeping emotionally balanced.
Winding down on the “contents” for the Emotional First Aid Kit….Tapping is a wonderful technique for alleviating stress and emotional pain. I utilize this technique with clients (and for myself) because it works! This video will show you how to use this technique for emergency situations, but you must practice it so you know how to use it when you really need it. And why not? It is great to use it every day so that you can eliminate your daily stress -no need for stress to build up into chronic distress. For everyday use, you will need more guidance to use it efficiently, but for emotional first aid, just tapping the points will eliminate your stress level.