Conflict -have you had one lately? It seems to be everywhere. How do you begin resolving conflicts? People refuse to listen to another’s opinion because it differs from theirs. What happens inside us to create a wall between us and another? Is is really so threatening to us that others don’t agree with us?
Resolving conflicts- is it even possible? I have spent the past year thinking about this topic. The political climate in the U.S. has been creating a division for years. My question -what can we do?
Staying stuck is easy. It is an uncomfortable habit that feels so familiar it becomes comfortable. It turns up the volume on fear so high that to move in any direction instills a panicky feeling.
Staying stuck is easy. You feel trapped and victimized, convincing yourself that doing anything different will kill you. That’s why you stay stuck.
Have you ever felt this?
Staying stuck is easy until you realize the pain of staying stuck is greater than the fear of moving forward.
The courage of risking everything is finally worth the freedom of moving forward, making decisions and claiming your vision. Hopes and dreams of what life could be comes into view and helps you move forward.
I have let this fear stop me many times in my life. I spent many years feeling stuck, unable to make even a small step towards my dreams. There were many times when I would take a few steps but then refused to go any further. This is just as painful because you see your goal in front of you but no path to reach it. I guess if I weren’t so persistent I would just clean the slate board and completely forget that goal.
I felt as if I were on a seesaw. I could see my goal in front of me -my emotional freedom. I wanted out of despair and panic. But how?
Fear is your call to transform. Have you heard the call but ignored it? It often arises to get your attention. Something is disturbing your entire being, but you ignore it. It can’t give you any bigger warnings… you break out in a sweat, your heart races, your jaw and neck tighten, and your head is pounding. It is saying “What more must I do to get your attention that something needs changing?”
It’s just a warning sign to be on the lookout – there is danger ahead. You are not feeling safe on some level of your being. Sometimes there is a real danger- a car driving too close as you cross the street. Sometimes it is an imagined danger- a scenario we dream up, a story we tell ourselves from past experiences. We want to either fight, retreat or freeze.
What makes it so difficult for people to face their fear? I’ve found 3 big reasons.
Stories have power. Choose them wisely.
Children have a limited understanding of life and make up stories to fill in the blanks. They are egocentric, focusing on the ME. It’s just a developmental stage, a necessary step to the forming of the personality. They try to make sense of events as they experience them. Unfortunately, their impressions are usually wrong. As a child, we don’t realize stories have power when we create them. Many times, these impressions stay with us as adults, and we hardly ever question them.
Some of these impressions are the stories we tell ourselves that often bring pain for a lifetime if we don’t stop to examine them to see they were based on faulty perceptions.
I have faulty perceptions from my childhood. When the pain created by them grabs my attention, I bring them into the light to shift the perception into a truthful one. I hate to cause myself pain if I can avoid it. Believe me, I have experienced enough self-created pain, and it’s my personal mission to help myself and clients develop tools to let go of any avoidable pain.
This story caused me pain…it was a painful story I told myself.
Cleaning and healing???
Cleaning and healing : As I return to activities of daily living after kidney donation surgery, imagine my surprise feeling great joy as I was cleaning the bathroom. I had spent most of the last 6 weeks being coddled, resting so I could heal quickly and without any complications. My life was focused on healing. My energy level had to be nourished so I did not become exhausted. Even mental activity drained my energy reserve in the first few weeks after surgery. I finally would feel drawn to an activity, alerting me I had the energy to attempt the task. Slowly more activities showed up on the screen of my awareness, telling me if I didn’t overdo it, it was okay to reclaim an activity to my schedule. This week the object of my desire was cleaning the bathroom…
Find the Present Moment!
The following mindfulness exercise gives your mind a focus, allowing you to shift your perspective away from anxiety, and towards the peace of the present moment. Set some time aside ( 5-10 minutes) in a comfortable chair, away from distractions. Do this whenever you need an anxiety release.
To shift your perspective, take a few deep, slow breaths, following the in and the out breath for a few minutes.
How well do you balance your responsibilities with self-care?
Do you maintain emotional balance? Most of us have so many demands on our time and energy, it takes conscious attention to our needs to live a happy life. Take this quiz to see how well you are meeting responsibilities, while also recognizing and fulfilling personal needs and wants.
❍ ❍ 1. The only way I can successfully manage my life is to take care of myself physically and emotionally.
❍ ❍ 2. Nurturing myself enlarges my capacity to help others.
❍ ❍ 3. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly.
❍ ❍ 4. I get check-ups, go to the dentist, and take preventative precautions.
❍ ❍ 5. I set aside personal, quiet time for myself, whether I’m meditating or simply letting my thoughts drift.
Emotional pain doesn’t happen at a convenient times. Everything seems to be going along fine and suddenly, in a flash, you find yourself at the bottom of an emotional hole in the ground with no way out. Everything seems all wrong.You have tripped into what I call an “emotional land mine.” That is an emotional trigger that gets tripped by a recent event that indicates some unfinished emotional business. You are hurting, and often don’t even know why. Or you may recognize a hurt from the past -your resentment of a cruel mother, or a hurt from a previous lover. You feel awful and don’t quite know what to do.
Healing takes intention, support and wisdom. Getting professional support such as energy healing and counseling helps to navigate and get the quickest rewards from your challenge. Don’t go it all alone. A qualified professional knows the journey. It’s like having a GPS for your journey into uncharted territory. This will support you with the steps that are necessary to heal.