Conflict -have you had one lately? It seems to be everywhere. How do you begin resolving conflicts? People refuse to listen to another’s opinion because it differs from theirs. What happens inside us to create a wall between us and another? Is is really so threatening to us that others don’t agree with us?
Resolving conflicts- is it even possible? I have spent the past year thinking about this topic. The political climate in the U.S. has been creating a division for years. My question -what can we do?
Staying stuck is easy. It is an uncomfortable habit that feels so familiar it becomes comfortable. It turns up the volume on fear so high that to move in any direction instills a panicky feeling.
Staying stuck is easy. You feel trapped and victimized, convincing yourself that doing anything different will kill you. That’s why you stay stuck.
Have you ever felt this?
Staying stuck is easy until you realize the pain of staying stuck is greater than the fear of moving forward.
The courage of risking everything is finally worth the freedom of moving forward, making decisions and claiming your vision. Hopes and dreams of what life could be comes into view and helps you move forward.
I have let this fear stop me many times in my life. I spent many years feeling stuck, unable to make even a small step towards my dreams. There were many times when I would take a few steps but then refused to go any further. This is just as painful because you see your goal in front of you but no path to reach it. I guess if I weren’t so persistent I would just clean the slate board and completely forget that goal.
I felt as if I were on a seesaw. I could see my goal in front of me -my emotional freedom. I wanted out of despair and panic. But how?
That’s right! Donald Trump is My New Spiritual Practice…let me explain. When a world event upsets me or makes me anxious, I look deep inside myself to see what is getting triggered. Having experienced trauma in my childhood, I find I must be vigilant to maintain balance. If I am aware of my nervousness when it starts, I can manage it before it snowballs.
Enter the presidential election in 2016 of Donald Trump. I was an emotional mess. His political or ideological beliefs were not the cause of my panic. Upon inner reflection, I soon realized the cause of my emotional distress.
Donald Trump’s behavior reminds me of my father….I see many of the same frightening behaviors that I saw in my dad.
I’ve done much healing around my relationship with my father and his effects on my physical and emotional health. The early trauma of his erratic behavior had hard-wired fear in my body. I spent much of my adult life balancing an over-activated nervous system. I’ve learned to balance my energy in relationship to people and events because I was at risk to be re-traumatized if I didn’t manage it. Yet, the new president spotlighted areas where healing work is still needed.
You see, my dad had undiagnosed bi-polar disorder.
Fear or Peace – It’s Your Choice
You awaken in the morning. You brush the grogginess from your mind.You stretch your body. Before your feet hit the floor, you unconsciously set into motion how your day will proceed. You chose consciously or unconsciously what you create today. Affirm your power as an enlightened creator. It’s time to make a choice, one that comes from the deepest wisdom within you. The big question of the day – do you want to live in fear or peace?
In our most powerful moments, we easily chose peace. When tired and distracted by the repetition our daily tasks, we become lulled into unconsciousness. Our choices devolve into unconscious reactions. When fear knocks on our door, we let it in before recognizing this new visitor. Often it is a visitor that refuses to leave. We have forgotten that we are empowered beings who can make a choice. Now, what do we do???
Mindfulness – Managing the Chaos of Modern Life
Today’s world requires methods of managing stress and finding emotional balance. The fast pace of everyday life, with numerous demands on our time and energy, often leaves us frazzled and anxious. Our minds are always busy, analyzing, evaluating and planning.
Fear is your call to transform. Have you heard the call but ignored it? It often arises to get your attention. Something is disturbing your entire being, but you ignore it. It can’t give you any bigger warnings… you break out in a sweat, your heart races, your jaw and neck tighten, and your head is pounding. It is saying “What more must I do to get your attention that something needs changing?”
It’s just a warning sign to be on the lookout – there is danger ahead. You are not feeling safe on some level of your being. Sometimes there is a real danger- a car driving too close as you cross the street. Sometimes it is an imagined danger- a scenario we dream up, a story we tell ourselves from past experiences. We want to either fight, retreat or freeze.
What makes it so difficult for people to face their fear? I’ve found 3 big reasons.
Stories have power. Choose them wisely.
Children have a limited understanding of life and make up stories to fill in the blanks. They are egocentric, focusing on the ME. It’s just a developmental stage, a necessary step to the forming of the personality. They try to make sense of events as they experience them. Unfortunately, their impressions are usually wrong. As a child, we don’t realize stories have power when we create them. Many times, these impressions stay with us as adults, and we hardly ever question them.
Some of these impressions are the stories we tell ourselves that often bring pain for a lifetime if we don’t stop to examine them to see they were based on faulty perceptions.
I have faulty perceptions from my childhood. When the pain created by them grabs my attention, I bring them into the light to shift the perception into a truthful one. I hate to cause myself pain if I can avoid it. Believe me, I have experienced enough self-created pain, and it’s my personal mission to help myself and clients develop tools to let go of any avoidable pain.
This story caused me pain…it was a painful story I told myself.
Cleaning and healing???
Cleaning and healing : As I return to activities of daily living after kidney donation surgery, imagine my surprise feeling great joy as I was cleaning the bathroom. I had spent most of the last 6 weeks being coddled, resting so I could heal quickly and without any complications. My life was focused on healing. My energy level had to be nourished so I did not become exhausted. Even mental activity drained my energy reserve in the first few weeks after surgery. I finally would feel drawn to an activity, alerting me I had the energy to attempt the task. Slowly more activities showed up on the screen of my awareness, telling me if I didn’t overdo it, it was okay to reclaim an activity to my schedule. This week the object of my desire was cleaning the bathroom…
Decision Making – Do you ever think about decision making? How do you decide?
I’ve been busy making a big decision. During the past three months, I have been absorbed in a deep process of making a life-altering decision and charting a path to make this a reality. It has taken much of my energy and I am growing exponentially through it. Wow, it’s been quite a ride!
The reason I am sharing this – to help you observe how you navigate through decision-making in daily life. For you to notice the process you use. Do you overthink it? Do you fret and make yourself anxious? Are you methodical? Do you use a dart board?
My decision is huge, as it has ramifications for my personal life, my extended family, my clients, as well as my spiritual life. This decision, after much self-inquiry, prayer, meditation, research and support from loved ones, is solidly confirmed. Unlike other decisions I have made in my life, even ones of less importance, this one was made without my usual list of pros and cons, and an ever-growing list of fears and what if’s.
It was made from a deep knowing that I have not questioned for even a second.
In making this decision, I had zero anxiety. At times I observe myself and I don’t even recognize me.