Conflict -have you had one lately? It seems to be everywhere. How do you begin resolving conflicts? People refuse to listen to another’s opinion because it differs from theirs. What happens inside us to create a wall between us and another? Is is really so threatening to us that others don’t agree with us?
Resolving conflicts- is it even possible? I have spent the past year thinking about this topic. The political climate in the U.S. has been creating a division for years. My question -what can we do?
Staying stuck is easy. It is an uncomfortable habit that feels so familiar it becomes comfortable. It turns up the volume on fear so high that to move in any direction instills a panicky feeling.
Staying stuck is easy. You feel trapped and victimized, convincing yourself that doing anything different will kill you. That’s why you stay stuck.
Have you ever felt this?
Staying stuck is easy until you realize the pain of staying stuck is greater than the fear of moving forward.
The courage of risking everything is finally worth the freedom of moving forward, making decisions and claiming your vision. Hopes and dreams of what life could be comes into view and helps you move forward.
I have let this fear stop me many times in my life. I spent many years feeling stuck, unable to make even a small step towards my dreams. There were many times when I would take a few steps but then refused to go any further. This is just as painful because you see your goal in front of you but no path to reach it. I guess if I weren’t so persistent I would just clean the slate board and completely forget that goal.
I felt as if I were on a seesaw. I could see my goal in front of me -my emotional freedom. I wanted out of despair and panic. But how?
That’s right! Donald Trump is My New Spiritual Practice…let me explain. When a world event upsets me or makes me anxious, I look deep inside myself to see what is getting triggered. Having experienced trauma in my childhood, I find I must be vigilant to maintain balance. If I am aware of my nervousness when it starts, I can manage it before it snowballs.
Enter the presidential election in 2016 of Donald Trump. I was an emotional mess. His political or ideological beliefs were not the cause of my panic. Upon inner reflection, I soon realized the cause of my emotional distress.
Donald Trump’s behavior reminds me of my father….I see many of the same frightening behaviors that I saw in my dad.
I’ve done much healing around my relationship with my father and his effects on my physical and emotional health. The early trauma of his erratic behavior had hard-wired fear in my body. I spent much of my adult life balancing an over-activated nervous system. I’ve learned to balance my energy in relationship to people and events because I was at risk to be re-traumatized if I didn’t manage it. Yet, the new president spotlighted areas where healing work is still needed.
You see, my dad had undiagnosed bi-polar disorder.
Opening to Love’s Embrace
My wish for you in the New Year of 2017 is that you open yourself to Love’s Embrace. It will be necessary as we go forward into this year to develop this as a habit. The new year will provide us with new beginnings and wonderful opportunities for growth on the spiritual path.
For me, the new year has brought moments of clarity, the clarity that was obscured in the last few months of 2016. There had been so many planetary shifts that created an energetic bounciness that reminded us to remain flexible as we navigated the bumpy waters. There was a call to release all that was not needed on the “boat” or else drown- resentments, hurts from the past, fear about the future, misconceptions about who we think we are. Hopefully, you didn’t fight letting go of what is no longer needed. But don’t worry – there are still many opportunities to release it!
How do you find answers to Life’s questions? Does confusion reside in you? How do you live in the unknown? How do you plan for the future when you don’t have answers???
Sometimes finding answers to Life’s questions gets placed on hold. In my recovery from kidney donation surgery, it was a challenge to plan for the future. I had spent 4 months planning for the surgery and 4 months to recover to my pre-surgery health. Medical testing, doctor appointments, exercise, and energy therapy appointments consumed my attention. I couldn’t focus on anything else. There could be no planning for my post-surgery future. I knew the donation would change my life in ways I couldn’t imagine. How can you plan for the future when you are in a phase of becoming? How can you find answers to Life’s questions?
November 2016 unveiled a groundbreaking presidential election in the US. Emotional imbalances were evident throughout my world, both in me and with others. Election anxiety was everywhere. I felt it through conversations and in news reports. The effects were showing up in my body, by feeling off balance. Did you feel it too?
Everything felt so Big with Big consequences. The anger and separation from both political parties permeate the air. Being empathic, I feel this and want to help heal the divide. I see the divide outside which means I also have it inside. Where is this divide within me?
If Donald Trump Practiced Mindfulness
My mind wanders sometimes…
what would it be like to be a spiritual mentor for a character in a TV show such as Game of Thrones or The Sopranos? These characters have mega-sized personalities that display imbalances that are striking. How would they act connected to their Essence and living their Souls’ purpose? What practices would they need to learn? What energy medicines would be most suitable for them to use?
While watching these shows, I find myself choosing a flower essence for Tyrion Lannister. What flower essence would eliminate the self-pity that blocks his innate leadership capabilities? (That flower essence is Bach Flower Remedy Pine.) With the right remedy, I envision Livia Soprano, Tony’s self-absorbed mother, being a compassionate nurturer. The Bach Flower Essence Heather would help her fill herself from within, rather than from the negative attention of her adult children.
I see them both transformed, coming from a place of balanced power, aligned with Spirit. I rejoice at their every advance forward….and then I wake up from this dream. Ah, but they aren’t real people, just fictional characters.
Have you ever looked at your life and thought, “I want more abundance in my life.” You decide you want more love, money, creativity – more flow. You want to manifest more abundance in your life. Maybe you envision traveling to distant lands or exploring the local foods of a region. You want to learn a new skill, such as photography, or ballroom dancing or train seeing eye dogs. You see a more expansive vision of your life. And then you look at your daily routine….
Okay, so you have dreams of a more abundant life than you are living at the moment. No need to be disappointed with your life. Honor it for what it is. Give gratitude for the gifts in your life…that will help your abundance to increase. But you see now that you need a plan if you want to live a more abundant life.
Let’s talk about manifesting. Some people think think that if they wish for something, or dream about it, that they can create it. It’s a good first step – many call it “visioning”. If you can’t imagine it, it is hard to create.
Changing Perspective How do you change your perspective when you get stuck?
I’d like to share an exercise I do whenever I need to shift my perspective.
This helps me to let go of striving and willfulness so that I am now free to changing my perspective. I can then question the habitual view and drop into surrender. I am able to be in the world, no one important than anything else, I am woven into the fabric of All That Is. I can now drop my importance as an individual. I become one of many beings, spinning on a big ball through space. I feel my place as a tiny cell in this organism of Love.
1. Imagine all your attention is focused like when you are reading. This narrow focus is a type of tunnel vision, all of your focus is fixated. This activates the left, reasoning brain. Just feel this in your eyes and brain as you
2. shift focus to open to peripheral vision, expanding a softer gaze, letting in more of the surrounding area of vision. Notice the amount of willpower it took to focus in the narrower vision than to see peripherally.
3. Repeat each type of vision, shifting from one to another and observe the difference. Notice how you are changing perspective.
4. Now imagine you can see 360 degrees around you, as if you also had eyes in the back of your head and that with both sets of eyes you could see peripherally but holistically. Just explore this, feeling the sensation. Notice if you feel softer, less willful, more energetically diffuse. Just become aware of everything around you but not anything specifically. Breathe and continue just being in this space with nothing to do but be present.
5. Shift to narrow focus to feel what happens. What feels more familiar to you? Shift again to peripheral and then to 360. Continue to breathe.
Practice this often and enjoy your path to surrender!