November 2016 unveiled a groundbreaking presidential election in the US. Emotional imbalances were evident throughout my world, both in me and with others. Election anxiety was everywhere. I felt it through conversations and in news reports. The effects were showing up in my body, by feeling off balance. Did you feel it too?
Everything felt so Big with Big consequences. The anger and separation from both political parties permeate the air. Being empathic, I feel this and want to help heal the divide. I see the divide outside which means I also have it inside. Where is this divide within me?
My childhood home was chaotic. My father exhibited unusual behavior due to his untreated-undiagnosed bipolar disorder. I never knew what would happen next whenever my dad was around. Since we had a family business, he was often there, creating the chaos that was in his mind in my outer world.
Because my father often made poor business choices, my mother was there to clean up the collateral damage. There was an unwritten rule- if dad wants it, it must be wrong. My family developed the “us and him” mentality, creating deep divides in our family unit. My father was adept at name calling and threats of violence. I lived with this on a daily basis, and it created deep wounds in me. The election aftermath mirrored this unsettled home atmosphere.
At first, I didn’t recognize the similarities. When I started feeling fractured inside, it was all too familiar. My fear got triggered. I know how past traumas can often bring back feelings into the moment. I know the techniques and tools to use to bring me back to the present. But the present wasn’t looking safe either. I now knew there was another layer of trauma and hidden areas of victimhood calling out for healing love.
I saw my inner division- anger for the “other person” that is abusive. When I get scared, there is still a part of me that uses the skills of my abuser. I made him wrong by labeling him, vilifying him, and separating myself from him, with the illusion of feeling safe. I’ve done much healing around my dad’s behavior. But I still have an interior wall to protect myself that is calling out to be dismantled. This separation developed into a habit was now showing up in response to the election aftermath. This anger lives in me- it’s mine and others have theirs too. I can’t change theirs, only mine.
I’ve been spending much time in self-care – by resting, meditating, writing and taking media timeouts. I want to understand what is happening with our country, inside the people, inside me, to find a path to healing the divide.
I use my inner world as a workshop, to heal from trauma or fear. As I heal mine, I can help others learn how to navigate theirs.I use my inner world as a workshop, to heal from trauma or fear. As I heal mine, I can help others learn how to… Click To Tweet
I believe that fear is the soul calling out to uncover wisdom that is hidden within. Until you see anxiety as a guide to your Deepest Wisdom, you will continue to be troubled by your emotions. I am spending time connecting my Deepest Wisdom to uncover the next step of my journey to freedom. I invite you to do the same and uncover your strength and freedom. We are all being called to dig deep so we can create peace, in ourselves and in the world.We are all being called to dig deep so we can create peace, in ourselves and in the world. Click To Tweet