Stories Have Power

Stories Have Power

Stories have power. Choose them wisely.

Children have a limited understanding of life and make up stories to fill in the blanks. They are egocentric, focusing on the ME. It’s just a developmental stage, a necessary step to the forming of the personality. They try to make sense of events as they experience them. Unfortunately, their impressions are usually wrong.  As a child, we don’t realize stories have power when we create them. Many times, these impressions stay with us as adults, and we hardly ever question them.

Some of these impressions are the stories we tell ourselves that often bring pain for a lifetime if we don’t stop to examine them to see they were based on faulty perceptions.

I have faulty perceptions from my childhood. When the pain created by them grabs my attention, I bring them into the light to shift the perception into a truthful one. I hate to cause myself pain if I can avoid it. Believe me, I have experienced enough self-created pain, and it’s my personal mission to help myself and clients develop tools to let go of any avoidable pain.

This story caused me pain…it was a painful story I told myself.

A friend was late in returning a reply for a long overdue lunch date. We wanted to plan a time and my schedule was filling up quickly. I didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity to see her as we have had little time to connect lately. As the day came to a close, I noticed myself get irritated  that I didn’t hear from her. What happened next came as a new realization.

I stopped to notice what was behind the feeling of irritation. Mindfulness practice helps cut through the static of my inner world. As I became more mindful of the sensation in my body, I noticed self-pity flooding me.

She must not miss me…..

She doesn’t want to meet and is stalling rather than tell me the truth…

I must not be important to her….

She doesn’t care about me anymore….

Stories have power and I was using this story to cause me pain. In my earlier years, I was skillful in using self-pity as a weapon against myself. I didn’t know what to do with the pain that my erroneous thoughts caused. I actually thought the pain was coming from outside of me, never realizing that I was creating it. I could have continued down this path of destruction…but my awareness stopped me. Rather than seeing this for what it is-a busy friend attempting to find time in her schedule to meet me- I made it into a sad story about me! I took another deep breath. I was spinning a tale of feeling unloved and ignored as a child, a story that I crafted in my quiet moments as a child, who saw herself as isolated and alone. This episode shined the spotlight on that unhealed place that still resides in me.

I  connected to this sad child inside to be with her. “I am here with you. You are not alone. Are you feeling needy and lonely? Did I ignore your needs today? “ As I sink into the words, I remember that I have been busy and a bit distracted. She is telling me through my emotional reaction that she has noticed. Because of her past experiences, she lets me know when she is feeling ignored by agitating my inner calm. It always gets my attention and she knows it.

She conveys the message. “I feel lonely today. You have been so focused on your project that you didn’t even take a break from the computer today. I need some fresh air and a walk. You didn’t hear me when I asked for it.”

She’s right. I was so focused that even though I wanted to take a walk, I disregarded her request. So she felt ignored by me and by my friend for not scheduling- it was more than she could handle by herself. She needed me to set the story straight. The story without judgments, without the flavor of my personal wounding, is needing to be told.

“I am sorry I didn’t give you what you needed today. Do you want to walk now or do you need something else? “ I could feel my body settle. This told me she was connected to me and felt my attention on her needs. She was also looking forward to seeing my friend for lunch, but she could accept it if she couldn’t meet this week.

As I chatted with this young part of myself, my openness to take responsibility for my feelings allowed another part of the wound to heal and for me to drop the damaging story that can often keep me stuck in a false world of pain.

I finally heard from my friend. She was sick and couldn’t make plans until she felt better. The young child in me was all focused on ME, focused on the false perception, which caused me pain. I now hold this part of myself with compassion and tell her “ what a painful inner world you lived in, believing you were so unloved. I can’t take away the pain from your childhood, but I can prevent it from hurting you now. Know that I love you, even if it appears no one else does.” With that, she smiled!

Stories have power. Be aware of the stories you tell yourself. If you don’t like the results, it’s time to rewrite the story.

 Stories have power. Be aware of the stories you tell yourself. If you don’t like the results, it’s time to rewrite the story. Click To Tweet

 Do you need help rewriting your story?  Are you ready to get a different result than the one that story is producing? It’s time to ask for support. You are still the author, but find some Divine inspiration to open you to possibilities you never imagined. Some healthier stories where your life is flowing and creative, meeting goals in joy. It’s time! Click here.

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